U1 | #5 | #7 | LD#1 | #42 | #48 | #49 |
LD#3 | #52 | #53 | #54 | #55 | #56 | LD#9 |
#57 | #58 | #60 | #61 | #63 | #64 | #66 |
LD#13 | #67 | #75 | #77 | #80 | #82 | #83 |
w/o num | #89 | #90 | #100 | #105 | #106 | #108 |
#109 | #110 | #113 | #120 | #140 | #145 | LD#14 |
#149 | #150 | #159 | #166 | #173 | #175 | #178 |
#191 |
Life is as it was again,
Bittersweet and silent.
But where the hours used to stand
Like eons lined up end to end
There only sits a pile of sand
That issues from my fingertips.
(no date,either)
A cryptic message comes to he
Who stops and on the world does gaze
And stands before it full amazed
To know he sees what could not be.
1984
Now, what should i do with my life
With my mind?
Drain my soul of blood and let the pallor wax,
Till cold and salty sweat beads on my head
And struggling i collapse??
1984
The visitors to home have fled,
And now i rest my weary head,
Beside this stone, within this glade,
Beneath a fading sky.
The grass grows down to touch my face,
But cannot reach the resting place
Where i recline.
Another day has passed,
Alone again-- AT LAST!
12 october 1989
Shouting in unison,
Clapping in time,
Thus filling otherwise empty hours.
Creating events
For eventless lives,
Lest we despair of our wasted powers.
9/2/92
The wind blows on an open sea,
The sea waves back and waves again.
The waves reveal their hidden dreams:
To sit out all eternity
Beneath an open sky and see
Their brothers evermore.
The waves roll on and roll again
And crest as they approach the shore.
And then they crash upon the sand
And are no more.
9/30/92
It used to be that when we walked,
Our shoulders pressed
And we would talk of many things.
Now, no longer side by side
The distance between you and me
Is measured by our eyes.
10/92
LD#3 (now featuring nutri-tweet)
to the tune of 'My Favorite Things'
Arsenic and pistols
And freshly honed axes,
Bags made of plastic
And fragmented glasses,
Long lines of rope
From which someone could swing,
These are a few of my favorite thinnnnngs!
Carbon monoxide
And air-filled syringes,
Electrical outlets that
Give more than twinges,
Deep pools of water
And train rails that sing,
These are a few of my favorite thinnngs!
Oh, when the dogs yip,
When the be stings,
When i'm feeling maaaaad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then i don't feel so baaaad!
10/92
Buzzers and bells throughout the day
Define the worth of every hour,
Decree the times i work and play,
And thus encroach upon my power.
11/92
Blood is running down her neck
(It doesn't matter any more)
That she was born to live and see
(It doesn't matter any more)
Atrocities she would not bear
(It doesn't matter any more)
The pain she bore with no regret
(It doesn't matter any more)
It doesn't matter any more
(IT NEVER MATTERED, REALLY).
Nov92
Assaulted by the sundry beads
And colors strung together,
I turn away to clear my mind,
But no respite i've yet to find:
I'm still bound by the tether.
Now, how all this has come to be
I cannot help but wonder.
Between the Here and Nevermore
I'm poised to leap and break the cord.
Shall i be torn asunder?
11/92
I speak to you,
You speak to me,
And through a bleary fog we see
An outline of the other's form.
Our flesh is veiled
(or so it seems)
By preconceptions,
Shards of dreams,
And yearning for the day before
(that never really came to fore;
we cannot bear it present).
05Dec92
You never had the time for her,
Or offered solace when she cried.
So whence the tears?
Why do you grieve?
One'd think that someone else had died.
1/93
[to the tune of "Home on the Range"]
Oh, give me a home
Where the psychotic roam
And the dearly-beloved are slain.
Where seldom is heard
An encouraging word
And the sky is so cloudy all day!
Hoooooooooommmmee of the straaaaaaaaange
Where the suicide fantisies laaaaaaaaaay!
Where seldom is heard an encouraging word
And the sky is so cloudy all daaaaaaaaaay!
Jan93
The waves push out onto the sand
Then foam, and then
Recede again.
Each passing wave obscures the marks
That we have made.
Castles fall
And foot-prints fill
With ever smaller pools
Until
There is no trace that
We were here at all.
2/93
Dreams dreaming dreams
Riding butterfly wings
Through opaque cascades
And billowing screens
Of spray and smoke
And mingled sunbeams
2/25/93
Wind and rain
Converge again
Upon my window
(That is plain)
But vision of
The world beyond
Is blurred
Beyond 'cognition.
4/93
Silence swells
To fill the space
Where echoes danced
And then decayed.
An empty place
With torn festoons;
The Time has passed
And none too soon
The void resumes its reign.
4/93
All these things recall your name:
The crashing surf and light grey haze
Obscured horizon, tranquil breeze, and
Silent gulls that pace the air.
All these things recall your face:
The final words
A warm embrace, and
Vacant, lifeless eyes that stare.
10/7/93
Glazed by ice and half obscured
By drifting snow a brass plate lays
To rest in frozen ground what doubts
That one may have of what remains.
12/93
Freedom bound
Is freedom still:
Without bound'ry
One has no will.
1/94
[To the tune of 'Climb Ev'ry Mountain']
Try Ev'ry method,
Search high and low,
Sample ev'ry poison,
One's sure to work, you know.
Try Ev'ry method,
Try not to scream,
As you slash blood vessels,
Till you find your dream.
A dream that will need,
To remain rather hid,
Til that day in your life
When you no longer live.
Try Ev'ry method,
Paint yourself green,
Swim in shark-filled waters,
Till you find your dream!!!!
4/94
Should gears and cogs feel anything
While neighbor-cogs are ground away
And they themselves have cracked their teeth
On greaseless teeth that eat away
The cogs they touch and send away
To come 'round and repeat again
A daily grind and crush and scream?
5/94
Forced gaiety is lost
Upon the ice encrusted leaves
And frost
Obscures untimely buds and
Snaps the tendrils from the vines.
Within by hearth the embers glow
The space enclosed by well hewn walls
Is cozy warm
And aromatic with the smoke
Of generations' fires.
The air without is clear and bites
All flesh exposed to it and sun
The glaring snow
Shows nothing of the field below
And shifts before the wind like sand.
10/8/97
Some say they like the summer sun because
Its warmth gives life to life;
The air is filled with myriad scents
From summer's blaze inspired ferment
And all the creatures dance and sing their lives.
Yet just beyond the mountain's rise
Where ocean's rule does not extend
And nothing else can with the sun contend,
There is no scent save from a rotting corpse
Around which haggard vultures dance and circle in the sky
And there is no song save for the constant drone of flies.
7/9/98
Perched upon a jagged mount
With palms stretched up to touch her dream
Above her only endless sky
She thinks of naught yet yearns for wings.
9/7/98
Someone caught the train today
He went away on holiday
And all the passengers aboard
Stared blind into the black of night.
Officials took his photograph
And photographed the engine, too
To document his holiday
And we within had naught to do
But stare and murmur for an hour
Until the train moved on again
To fill a void left in the night...
20 February 1999
Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!
Run before the cracking whip
Don't take time to see the flowers
Beat the clock
Shave off an hour
Don't take time to think about this
Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!
Don't forget to smile through all this
Have them think
That you enjoy this
If they think that you resist
They'll crack the whip and yank the bit
21 February 1999
Of necessity i speak this darkly
Words half strangled, hidden, dying
Hidden in obscure half-phrases
Smothered so to mask the crying.
It's partly pain that drives them on
And fear concerning future days
But stronger is the ancient source-
These tears well up from untapped rage.
Perched upon the chasm's edge
Among the fallen leaves unnumbered
Poised to make the final bow
And re-create eternal gesture.
24 March 1999
You cannot go back home again,
There is no home to go to.
The pond's been filled,
The grocery store
Is now a garment outlet store
That sells used shoes and blouses
To strange women you've not seen before.
The house you once called home is there
And you can recognize the song
That fills the air along with dust
And ghosts of memories of her
Who used to sing to you
And now
All that is left is one old man
Who sits upon a worn out chair
And listens as the record spins around.
A faux salamander named Gecko
Did housewifely sentiments echo
When a true salamander
Replied with due candor
The gecko was shown to be mako.
01 April 1999
In pain she bore them
Quarrelling twins
And then looked on
As they grew tall
And kicked each other on the shins
Without regard for what she saw
Without regard for tears that fall
08 October 1999
There once was an anony-mouse
Who squeaked as one thoroughly soused,
Whose tail was once trodden
So now it stays sodden
The better to chronically grouse.
26 October 1999
Thunder peals beneath a sky
Which roils in shades of black and grey
The wind in rage strips bare the trees
While lightning through the twilight flies
And all it touches chars and dies
In contrast to the rain.
01 November 1999
[to the tune of "You're so Vain"]
You posted on the newsgroup
Like you were chatting on IRC
Your spelling and grammar really weren't too bad
But your views were so hard to believe
And you claimed you'd take over the group
So we told your ISP
And they agreed that the terms of your service
Didn't allow this, and
You're so lame
You probably think the thread is about you
You're so lame
I'll bet you think the thread is about you
Don't you? Don't you?
So you turned to trolling through anon mailers
And spewing obscenities
Well, you tried to cause a couple cross-post wars
But you failed quite mis'rably
And your attempts at being cruel
Make you read like you're 2, maybe 3
I had some dreams of a squirrel with no tail
Squirrel with no tail, and
You're so lame
You probably think the thread is about you
You're so lame
I'll bet you think the thread is about you
Don't you? Don't you?
13 November 1999
You can't stop me
When i run
'Cause i'm too fast
For you to pass
And head me off
Before i'm gone.
Day and night
You scream you're right,
That running's not the answer
But how would you know
When your actions show
That you don't know the question?
28 January 2000
There once was a troll named Celeste
Who thought that she knew what was best.
Though all of her poses
Smelt less sweet than her roses
Her motives were easy to guess.
28 January 2000
The memories that come to me
Are thinly crusted wounds.
Dwelt on too long they bleed again
And present turns into a when
That should have ended long ago.
22 October 2000
It's better to light a candle they say
But this is now the modern age
And your ever ready lamp keeps the night at bay
With the gaudy glare of a second-hand sun.
You want me to value your second-hand light
So you shine the lamp into my eyes
And it may as well be a moonless night
For all eyes can see when they're thus made blind.
There's a reason you shouldn't stare at the sun
And you blame me when i shut my eyes
Since eyes can't see when they are shut
But eyes can't see when they're made blind.
Inept help is worse than none.
And there isn't much worse than your second-hand sun.
19 December 2000
It was worse than feared
Atop the terror was the law
That nothing of the pain should show
Like smooth, marble statues of old:
No red face covered with hot, salted tears
No piercing scream or stifled groan
But rather a veneer of tranquility
Like the calm air and waters in the eye of the storm
As the air all around it batters and harms.
12 July 2001
Where one begins
The other ends
Like quickened breath or bellows
Or endless waves that push the sand
Into a beveled plain
Back and forth they push the grains
Until it all looks just the same.
19 October 2002
On the first day of Xmas, my true love gave to me:
A shiney 12gauge Mossberg gun.
On the second day of Xmas, my true love gave to me:
Two shotgun slugs
And a shiney 12gauge Mossberg gun.
On the third day of Xmas, my true love gave to me:
Three grams of arsenic
Two shotgun slugs
And a shiney 12gauge Mossberg gun.
On the fourth day of Xmas, my true love gave to me:
Four razor blades
Three grams of arsenic
Two shotgun slugs
And a shiney 12gauge Mossberg gun.
On the fifth day of Xmas, my true love gave to me:
Five liiiiiiiivvvveeeeee asps!
Four razor blades
Three grams of arsenic
Two shotgun slugs
And a shiney 12gauge Mossberg gun.
On the sixth day of Xmas, my true love gave to me:
Six yards of rope
Five liiiiiiiivvvveeeeee asps!
Four razor blades
Three grams of arsenic
Two shotgun slugs
And a shiney 12gauge Mossberg gun.
On the seventh day of Xmas, my true love gave to me:
Seven grams warfarin
Six yards of rope
Five liiiiiiiivvvveeeeee asps!
Four razor blades
Three grams of arsenic
Two shotgun slugs
And a shiney 12gauge Mossberg gun.
On the eighth day of Xmas, my true love gave to me:
Eight pounds of hemlock
Seven grams warfarin
Six yards of rope
Five liiiiiiiivvvveeeeee asps!
Four razor blades
Three grams of arsenic
Two shotgun slugs
And a shiney 12gauge Mossberg gun.
On the ninth day of Xmas, my true love gave to me:
Nine safety matches
Eight pounds of hemlock
Seven grams warfarin
Six yards of rope
Five liiiiiiiivvvveeeeee asps!
Four razor blades
Three grams of arsenic
Two shotgun slugs
And a shiney 12gauge Mossberg gun.
On the tenth day of Xmas, my true love gave to me:
Ten tanks of propane
Nine safety matches
Eight pounds of hemlock
Seven grams warfarin
Six yards of rope
Five liiiiiiiivvvveeeeee asps!
Four razor blades
Three grams of arsenic
Two shotgun slugs
And a shiney 12gauge Mossberg gun.
On the eleventh day of Xmas, my true love gave to me:
Eleven cans of paint
Ten tanks of propane
Nine safety matches
Eight pounds of hemlock
Seven grams warfarin
Six yards of rope
Five liiiiiiiivvvveeeeee asps!
Four razor blades
Three grams of arsenic
Two shotgun slugs
And a shiney 12gauge Mossberg gun.
On the twelfth day of Xmas, my true love gave to me:
Twelve rabid pitbulls
Eleven cans of paint
Ten tanks of propane
Nine safety matches
Eight pounds of hemlock
Seven grams warfarin
Six yards of rope
Five liiiive asps!
Four razor blades
Three grams of arsenic
Two shotgun slugs
And a shiney 12gauge Mossberg gun!
06 December 2001
Now even the old man is gone
And echoes of the ancient song
Are yours for an inheritance
Along with faded photographs
That show them as they used to be
Before you used your eyes to see
Before your world had come to be
Before that world had ended.
18 December 2003
There once was a man in New Jersey
Who was thoroughly versed in theurgy.
By request he made rain
And as thanks for his pain
He was fined for not being real clergy.
03 February 2004
Optimistic youth
Huddled 'round a charcoal stove
Foreign pundits rave.
09 March 2005
They were so proud when he was born
He'd make the thorn
Of unreached dreams
Recede, it seems.
If he could but a great thing do
It would undo
Obscurity
Humility
So when death claimed their darling prize
They did revise
Their plan for fame
And mongered blame.
31 October 2005
13 December 2005
#175 (a daughter to mother chat)
It pains me much to see i've failed you now
Despite all the ambitions pinned on me
Despite that you had hoped to see
Fulfillment of your proud, rebellious vow.
Twenty two long years your youthful dream
Has waited unfulfilled within your breast
While motherhood relentlessly has pressed
Into the space between you and your scheme.
So it was up to me to be the one
To fasten ropes upon the distant ridge
Which would desire's hollow chasm bridge
And give you passage to the goal unwon.
I'm sure it pains to see now that i'm dead
That i would choose to hang myself instead.
06 February 2006
Mornings, when our lives interlace
Over tea and raspberry jam
Every day you look at my face
Do you think you know who i am?
You send me off to school in haste
Reminding me of the exam.
Determined to see me well-placed,
Do you think you know who i am?
And when i balk in your dressage
My disobedience you slam
I feel the the crop of your barrage
Do you think you know who i am?
You wish to see me in a job
For which i give a tinker's damn
That straps men like a tackled cob
Do you think you know who i am?
10 March 2006
In the autumn days
The nights grow subtly longer
Smells in the air change
Some leaves fall mutely away
Others fall to earth ablaze
11 September 2006
-euclid k.